eth & thorn

not good*

2012-01-14T05:27:00.007-05:00

this is how it feels most days

2011-10-24T17:36:00.001-04:00

on flying

2011-06-29T11:38:00.005-04:00

i travel with more shit for the actual flight than i need at the place that i end up at.

it is not yet noon in columbus.

2011-06-29T11:35:00.001-04:00

which means i can't call anyone here.
i woke up at 6.
does jet lag last forever?

batlv

2011-06-06T23:12:00.002-04:00

recent schedule

2011-06-05T09:06:00.005-04:00

3/4am: Awake.
5am: Contemplate Doing Something Productive while on Facebook/Watch the Sun Rise.
6am: Do Something Pseudo-Productive While Talking to People on Gchat (Laptop) or Leave House and Do Something Pseudo-Productive While Talking to People on Google Talk (Phone).
8am: Consider Doing the Dishes/Taking The Recycling Downstairs/Finishing Something Previously Started/Et. Al.
9am: Do One of the Things in the Aforementioned List or Play Words With Friends.
10am: Nap Time.
12pm: Un-nap Time. Consider Eating.
1pm: Consider Eating while Beginning Something to Finish "Tomorrow."
3/4pm: Try Fruitlessly to Fix Record Player/Try Fruitlessly to Read a Textbook/Try Fruitlessly to Decide on What to Eat/Et. Al.
5/6pm: Leave House for Nomadic Adventures in the North/Southwest Wearing New Tennis Shoes.
7/8pm: Decide New Tennis Shoes are Offensive Because Not Black and Return Home.
9/10pm: Go Out?/Drink?/Sleep?
11am/12/1pm: Stuff/Face-to-face Social Interaction Time.
12/1/2am: Eventually Fall Asleep.

i hate forever.

2011-03-28T09:23:00.002-04:00

i want to be sweating,

wet-and-clammy,

smelly-and-dirty,

just-woke-up,

just-fucked,

with you

always.

lv+nstalga

2011-02-25T13:08:00.010-05:00

9:18/9:13/9:09/9:12 none of my clocks agree.

2011-02-05T12:02:00.003-05:00

COOKING WITH DOG

2011-01-27T22:39:00.002-05:00

this show is my new favorite thing:

and this is what i am doing saturday:

making udon w/ dan!

p.s. (if you watch the 2nd one, watch it on mute.)

TECHNOLOGY 1 - PHILISTINE 0

2011-01-08T15:11:00.002-05:00

I'm on a plane, somewhere past Kansas City. Come on, that's totally sweet!

found a manual for my enlarger!

2011-01-01T15:15:00.002-05:00

pixvom

2010-12-06T15:20:00.002-05:00

DO PUNKS MAKE BILLS?

2010-11-20T14:27:00.004-05:00

Pressing Question Answered

Border Guard: Will you be bringing money into Canada? Do you have enough for your trip? What are your occupations?

Pat: I run my own printing business.

Austin: I'm a teacher.

Ryan: I'm a librarian.

Ryan S.: I work at a school.

Shane: (whatever Shane does).

Me (James): I'm a writer.

Border Guard: Hahaha, well, we all know you don't have any money!

i went to bed at 3 and woke up at 7

2010-11-20T13:59:00.002-05:00

Trying to decide which SE restaurant I need to go to after watching Harry Potter for the second time to get a delicious tofu scramble. I think Hungry Tiger Too is gonna win out for the following three reasons: I've been there before, I know it's delicious, & it's near Food Fight, where I need to stop afterwards.

Other thoughts that just ran through my head:

"Is Conrad out of bed yet, or should I wait five more minutes?"

"I'm tired."

"What font does West Elm use?"

"Where is my rice cooker? I want to steam snow peas immediately."

"Oh, there, he's up, now I can go get him."

"HARRY POTTER 7."

explanation: the devolution of language

2010-11-20T04:56:00.005-05:00

i've decided to see how many parenthetical expressions i can fit into a run-on sentence while still getting my point across. TAKE THAT, SILAS MARNER (wait, i mean george eliot {oh wait, that wasn't your name either (cos you done be a woman {fucking feminist})} ...that was just practice).

me at 14: "run on sentences are just regular sentences where the idiot forgot parentheses."

me now: "why are there so many parentheses? (oh, it's a run on.)"

i don't like that you make me feel okay for paying double

2010-11-20T01:51:00.003-05:00

i bought a frozen microwavable bean and cheese burrito from whole foods* because i knew i would definitely be lazy enough to want to eat in the near future without leaving my house.

apparently, whole foods microwavable burritos are not meant for the lazy. THEY REQUIRE THAWING THE DAY BEFORE. so, i put it on the free pile table in my basement (don't worry, that shit gets taken in like 5 minutes--this is portland). never will i foresee beforehand that i might want a midnight snack because i stumbled in at 5am (okay 5am snack). its just not going to happen (the foreseeing, not the stumbling).

on a similar note: the manager at zupan's (specialty food store) followed me around the last time i was in there. it's about two blocks down the street (not columbus blocks), and it was raining, so my hood was up. DUDE, i can tell you're following me. also, DUDE, sorry--i'm not going to steal anything. ...AND IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.

*PARKING VALIDATION IS A GOOD MOTIVATOR WHEN YOU'VE OVERSTAYED YOUR WELCOME.

update: someone took the burrito. see? told you.

LOST

2010-10-26T21:29:00.003-04:00

so, roseanne and alix convinced me to start watching lost a couple months ago. as i spent numerous hours on roseanne's (or marc's--i can't remember which one belongs to whom) and roseanne had the first four seasons, i relented. i'm watching the end of season five right now on netflix, avoiding showering and waiting for conny & annie to go bowling. watching the first three seasons took about a month. watching the fourth season took about a month. watching the fifth season has taken four months.

IS THE 6TH SEASON EVEN WORTH WATCHING?

probably i should just look up how it ends, since that's the only reason i've got his far.

CONFLICTED.

runaway

2010-10-26T02:31:00.002-04:00

they say

ashes

that's what you'll be

on drowning

2010-10-26T01:51:00.007-04:00

in the pool

face down

your skin, your hands

it burns

until finally

you sink

and then, the carbon dioxide

how it overwhelms

how you float

how you surface

back and elbow, heel and neck

everything exposed

all your secrets known

insomnia

2010-10-23T06:28:00.003-04:00

sux.

The Deathly Hallows

2010-09-23T13:22:00.001-04:00

HP7, Pt 1.

OMG, THE NEW TRAILER, HI.

,

2010-08-15T21:03:00.005-04:00

flop-flips & basketball shorts

someone braided my hair.

cupcake jeffrey: FOUND.

LSD, at least.

records vs. cleaning: GO.

oh, and this: JDP Y LUXY DANS ITALIA.

NAPSTER HAPPENED

2010-08-01T00:47:00.002-04:00

OH NO. IS THE DUDE THAT INVENTED BOOKS SCANNED IN GOING TO HAVE TO GO COURT?

I'd rather read the book. Even looking at people reading a Kindle makes me uncomfortable. I love the texture, the smell, the existence of books. Unless this hundred-dollar-whatever is going to give me free books, I'm all of the anti- it ever.

don't laugh

2010-04-27T10:06:00.001-04:00

my hair's going to be yellow today. hope you don't mind.

later april 2010, i'm over you.

pls download and distribute worldwide, kthx:

http://banalization.blogspot.com/2010/04/delay-jimi-baby-tape.html

cross yr fingers

2010-04-09T15:49:00.002-04:00

One day I will stop fucking skinny white dudes.

Probably not.

But here's hoping.

LOLZ

2010-04-08T05:41:00.003-04:00

Jimibaby (which I'm too lazy to link write now so, pls see sidebar, asshole(((s)?)?)):

There is this t-shirt company that is dorky which pays people if they print shirts based on the slogans that are submitted. I have been submitting slogans while I look at the internet each night. A sampling:

Use illicit grammar, pay a syntax.

Colonialists know all the best vacation spots.

Tofu: It is what you make it.

Poetry: It's like punctuation doesn't exist.

There are way too many books for it to be novel.

Mountain climbers: The last people with upward mobility.

Time zones mix it up.

With great power comes great lobbyists.

Punk: What suburbia was made for.

DIY! Unless you think you need help. Then you should really ask.

Onan is my favorite biblical character.

Rock on, Rachmaninoff.

Kismet the Frog.

Brose and broetry.

Don't hate, ameliorate.

My thesis is on party theory. (Should be a joke about corn hole and beer pong as game theory)

Nutella FTW.

Cheese Fries FTW.

Avocado FTW.

Coffee: It's stimultating.

dunnnnno

2010-04-07T22:57:00.003-04:00

All of the shit that's been going on, mang, fuck.

I don't want to talk about any of it, because I'm sure you've heard. (Zzz...)

Also, sorry, been absent, been busy (we'll call it that).

Weird ass week.

wallpaper

2010-03-27T20:14:00.004-04:00

MEMORIES.

FUTURE PIZZA

2010-03-27T12:31:00.006-04:00

Alright, I'll let you in on a big secret: the future is not awesome. And let me tell you why: because frozen pizza is still disgusting. In fact, it's getting worse. And pizza is a good indicator of what to look forward to--if they're making it possible to make a SLICE of pizza, but it still tastes like cardboard, what can we expect for our fucking jet-packs (overused future reference--maybe I should have said moving sidewalks and flying cars). Seriously, who doesn't like pizza (I don't want to meet you, ever), and how the fuck is it not only getting better? Tell me anything I just said doesn't follow any logical thought process (I won't listen).

I'm just saying, if we can't even make automatic pizza taste great, all hope's lost. World peace? Forget it. So go hang yourself and get it over with, because microwave-a-slice-of-pizza is gross and the world is over.

Wait, what did I really expect from a freezer? NOT TO WASTE FIVE DOLLARS. I know--that's a lot to ask in these hard economic times. I wasn't even looking for nourishing, make-you-feel-good food (there is something green on top, but who knows what color it was before they dyed it green), just a fucking good slice of pizza that takes less than a commercial break to make. Why is that so hard, technology? Peace out, future.

P.S. Yeah, I still ate it. ...Also, I feel sick now.

FADE

2010-03-24T15:42:00.004-04:00

SNEEK PREEK:

\/\/\/

2010-03-19T14:00:00.004-04:00

Last (CMH) Sword Heaven show tonight @ Brbn!

ALL OF THE SPRING BREAK KICK OFF AND GO.

lvu2

2010-03-18T16:00:00.002-04:00

yep.

nothing brings me like you bring me

2010-03-15T11:11:00.004-04:00

broken

2010-03-14T23:47:00.004-04:00

Not so comfy in my pocket, I suppose.

list #1

2010-03-14T00:44:00.005-05:00

so soon,

spring break! 12 days to:

-bleach and dye hair

-sort through shit

-send stuff to austin and call ez

-actually go out, keep plans, and not back out because of school

-more graduation paperwork

-celebrate mollie's birthday at thai orchid/sweatin', and make sure saturday night is awesome

-book tickets for a week-long portland visit in june

-try my cooking competition entries

-sleep with andrea... all puns intended (spring break sleepoversss)

-finish the drawings on my prints and photograph them

-watch more movies with jake and go hiking in the rain

-say goodbye to noa

-visit mk & joshua

-get tattoos

-so many more things to do that i will never remember...

nervous for finals tomorrow. gonna read more and get some sleep, (i hope).

spring break = spring cleaning

2010-03-12T11:57:00.005-05:00

I wonder if I'll be on that 'hoarders' TV show. So, I'm going to take a break after this unit of insanely time-consuming quadratic graphing problems that I don't want to do. By break, I mean astronomy homework. Ughhh.

Ahahaha! Travel to Columbus! OBV.

the sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new

2010-03-11T22:43:00.007-05:00

Wow, I can't believe how much shit is fucking going on, even in Columbus, this weekend. I can think of 20 things (which is rare with my short-term memory) for today, tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday just in-city. WTF? I got a lot done today, but I've still got so much more to do. I feel like I'm in hiding. Hopefully on Saturday I can go to Trinity's birthday and then Berry's opening for a second and to drop off some food on the 3rd floor. I'm probably gonna skip Scion. Boo. Eric even wants to take me to oysters on Monday night, and I'm guessing I'm going to have to ask to wait a week (again, I'm swy). BAH! I really want these $1 oysters at Rigsby's--I found out about this like 2 months ago!

Fuck yeah, at least, that I graduate next quarter! Meeting with my advisor, getting that petition to graduate, etc. Tuesday morning. THEN I can eat all the seafood ever (gimme a coast!). YESH. K, that made me feel better. Also, this:

We were searching for that (aforementioned) box in my storage room last night, and Jake said he found something that I probably missed, and couldn't find (since middle school?). The best part is not that he found it. The best part is what I found inside it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I win. Almost positive this is from freshman year of highschool or before, and those postcards (see also: bookmarks) are from the Rock n' Roll hall of fame, I think (which is why it makes me think 7th or 8th grade). I love it! And yeah, I loved the Doors, the Clash and James Dean. Can't find the Clash one, but I know it used to be in there. They marked different parts of the novels I really liked. Oh, right, the totally unrelated flowers? I love orchids (thx). The end.

P.S. Why are the Unicorns on a Crayola commercial? Take that you sell-out assholes for yelling at the crowd that it was our fault that Bush was elected. UP YRZ. CMH4LYFE. (K, maybe not the last part.)

sushi stands + sleeping pills

2010-03-10T21:09:00.009-05:00

Holy crap. I have so much work to do! But, everyone is going out of town this weekend, so I wanted to see Jake before he left. Why can't all the stuff I want to do happen next weekend? So jealous of all the goings-on! Also, I seriously hate going to a million different doctors every week. In the time it takes for me to go to a thirty minute appointment, I've lost two hours. Bah!

All that said, I hope all my everyone has great times in the cities they are in this weekend! (Cinci, Chicago, Toronto & Pittsburgh!) Miss you. Bring me back key chains that say my name on them.

Explanation & contents tomorrow, I got plans and an early rise. How fun.

Updated:

Not a Box #1:

Snus Container--dimensions: 2" x 3" x 3/4"

Contents:

Besides the container (which I only have because of the container, I'm not exactly even certain what Snus is, and gave them all to Brian or Peter) and the pin (Rag O' Rama), this is random small shit from Australia that I have no idea why I saved. Okay, the wasabi (tiny little green packet) and the soy sauce (the little fish bottle), which I just thought were cute, also did serve a bit of a purpose--I got a lot of sushi in Australia. They basically have fresh sushi to go, which doesn't mean walking into Meijer or Whole Foods and getting those little packages, they serve them like burritos! WTF? Haha. And these were always the to-go sushi and soy that came along with it. Sleeping pills I no longer use (Sonata?), an unused Australian stamp and a cap for Crown beer--which, unlike the claims of so many Fosters commercials--is the ubiquitous, cheap, most-widely-drank beer of Australia. They even 'own' bars like Pepsi and Coke own Taco Bell or McDonalds. w00t--corporate contracts! Anyway, it's gross. My favorite in Australia were Monteith's Summer Ale and Young & Jackson's Naked Ale. Both are found in the heart of Melbourne's CBD, on tap--on Elizabeth St and across the street from Flinders St station, respectively. My friends helped me trek the city and we'd print, get lunch, print more. Sighhh, I wish I had lived in the city instead of fucking Dandenong. Hour or longer metro rides, switching trains, having to go back to that drab suburbia... don't do it.

want

2010-03-10T15:48:00.004-05:00

Wishlist O #1:

Mishka Review

Pitchfork Review

So many memories with this band playing in the background. No matter what you think about previous albums, my sentimentality has always overrode it (mostly), and they can do no wrong. Love this album.

sick of goodbyes

2010-03-10T09:47:00.002-05:00

R.I.P.

2010 is sucking in all kinds of ways.

to disembark

2010-03-07T22:09:00.007-05:00

Can't decide if we should go out or not. Why does everyone always make me decide? Seriously.

I'm finishing up a paper on one of Glenn Ligon's works at the Wexner right now called Gold Mudbone (Liar) #2. I really do like Glenn's work, but this is just annoying. It's annoying because I'm only allowed to pg 1: say what the work is (materials, elements, etc), pg 2: say what I think about it. We're not supposed to analyze or contextualize, just 'talk' about it. How do you fucking do that with this? Shoot me.

Maybe I'll post it if it doesn't suck. Cross your fingers. Can't imagine that it won't!

wknd monitor

2010-03-05T14:03:00.002-05:00

Show at Skylab tonight including Wolf Eyes, Envenomist and Biff Boff Barf.

Totally fuck it that I have to go take this math test first.

Also, fuck it that I can't finish this post because I have to leave now.

Damnit.

and i hate shopping, too

2010-03-04T15:27:00.000-05:00

Oh, hello free shipping from Urban Outfitters this weekend. Oh, hello bralette and another pair of soon-to-be-altered (see also: trimmed half a foot and tapered) super-high-rise jeans, you will be mine soon.

pointless artifacts of a mediocre past

2010-03-04T11:32:00.003-05:00

HRMMM!

This post was supposed to be about Box #2, a box of crap that I've kept safe and sound for about 8 years now. Unfortunately for all involved ("you," me, posterity), I can't find the fucking box. This is a problem, because this box served a purpose, albeit an I'm-so-sentimental-you-wouldn't-believe-it one. Let me explain--it's a 'break-up' box. All the shit normal people would probably throw away after a break-up that I don't have the guts or desire to (and never will--unless, of course, someone accidentally just did it for me... fuckers).

I haven't gone through what we'll call 'the depths' to look for it yet, so possibly this post can come to fruition this afternoon, but right now I've got a lovely lunch date, and should probably put on some pants. Hopefully you're not at Scioto Park staring into my parents' house, because then you've been seeing me walk around without any pants on all morning. That's just how I roll.

Jacques Derrida on Love and Being

2010-03-04T11:16:00.006-05:00

Qui où Que.

P.S. "Between talking to you and trying to read Dairy Dada subtitles..." -Marc DiCenzo

Pearls Before Breakfast

2010-03-02T19:19:00.005-05:00

This is a great article. You should read it. Also: that dude, not a babe.

[The] performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities -- as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?

IF A GREAT MUSICIAN PLAYS GREAT MUSIC BUT NO ONE HEARS . . . WAS HE REALLY ANY GOOD?

i didn't need these things, i'll never need these things

2010-03-01T00:24:00.009-05:00

So. I hoard things. Wikipedia says, "In archaeology, a 'hoard' is a collection of valuable objects or artifacts, sometimes purposely buried in the ground." Well, I use boxes. And the value is pretty questionable. This isn't the 8th century A.D., and you don't just go bury everything you want to keep in unplotted land anymore, you just don't. Plus, half the shit I keep (papers, flyers, notes, zines, photographs, etc.) won't last through the centuries--how unfortunate. I just need it to exist while I do, you know? Yeah, me neither.

Half of what I collect and hoard away is for never-to-be-finished art projects and works, found objects, made 'pieces' of a whole never-to-exist, the list goes on. The rest are things I don't want to forget, I don't want to lose. Which is everything. I am still not certain how I will photograph the contents of the older boxes. Possibly I won't leave it all in the box, I've got some ample floor space (definitely it wouldn't be enough).

I don't know why I keep things, it's sort of impulsive--like I might need it or want it some day for some reason. All the memories I don't want to lose, little trinkets of my life that don't really matter, but what does that mean anyway? I'm too sentimental and nostalgic, but I'm also lazy. That's why most of these things are part of half-way completed ideas for art projects I'll never finish--I lose steam, get disinterested, whatever.

I decided instead of making an art show of everything--all neatly placed out, decipherable--I'd start to document my incessant need to keep, to store, to hoard away all these little pieces (and at the same time documenting those pieces, and hoarding them once more). To never throw things out, but also, half the time, never look at those things again. I actually have a statement for the show I was planning, but it never came to fruition (imagine that)--it was (to be) called 'A Million Screaming Pieces' (PUNX REFERENCE). We needed to make statements for the final critique at RMIT and I think it's in one of these boxes. I just found my sketchbooks from Australia, so it must be nearby.

I'm not sure what I'll do with these photographs ('shows' scare the shit out of me, I've been well aware for many years now, hence I've only been in ones remote from me), but I've been thinking about doing this for awhile. This idea arrived (and happened) because my parents were (are?) remodeling their house, so a lot of my stuff is in jeopardy. You know how they handle artwork at galleries? Consider the opposite, and then you can understand what most of the shit I've ever made/kept has been through. Regardless, it's also good, because I come across things I've been hoarding, but wouldn't come across without being forced to. It's all just sitting there in boxes in storage.

I don't only do this (put things in a box to keep that maybe you might throw away) with big things, packing things up from the past--this 'first' one is from the last couple of months. I had to move things off a dresser at my parents house so that they could replace the floor. This is one of the resulting 'boxes,' and its contents as best as I can remember. I found it in a drawer when trying to find a pair of jeans I had borrowed from a friend. And yes, I arranged the contents that were in the box, but I did not add or remove anything. Most likely, that will get embarrassing soon.

Box #1:

Verizon Cell Phone Box--dimensions: (coming, admittedly too lazy to find a ruler right now)

Contents:

2 feathers found in Melbourne, Australia while walking to class (best class I've ever taken)

1 small feather found at Flinders St station (Melb)

1 receipt for lunch at a Sushi restaurant after class, my first time having a glass of Japanese plum wine, May 19th, 2009 (Melb)

1 Wolf Blass champagne cork (Melb)

1 5 dollar note, Singapore--used to hold a needle with black thread (I don't remember what I had been sewing--this is from a long time ago)

2 dried flower pods (I don't know how else to describe them, or where I found them) in a plastic container from Ravari Room

3 baggage claim stickers from the trip back to America from Australia (I think, I didn't actually check)

5 dried flowers from the bush in front of my parents' house

1 JIMIBABY pin that I took when we were in Brooklyn and wore on my skirt until it fell off

1 rock with the imprint of a shell from the Scioto riverbed in my parents' backyard that Greg found while looking for skipping stones

1 drawing made on my birthday (November 9th, 2009) by Conrad, Sara and Jimi (this is a game, but I can't remember what it's called)

P.S. I asked. The game is called Exquisite Corpse!

FUNERALS, etc.

2010-02-27T14:19:00.010-05:00

Mollie hates winter so much... probably more than I do. And she writes for the Mishka Blog: Beats Way Sick (2/1o). The post made me laugh, because I read it and knew it was Mollie before I even looked at the tunes. They've all got pseudonyms they write under (some of the really good ones are Shark, Hateball and Scrooge McFuck...)--Mollie's is Rue Sauvage.

* * *

Frightened Rabbit reminds me of being in Wales--mostly because my cousin's friend was in love with The Pogues--who are Irish, not Scottish, but, ignorantly enough, it's all the same to me.

Unlike Mollie, being entrenched in two or more feet of snow and having water seep through the soles of my shoes makes me want to hear music that makes me feel just as entrenched and hopeless (also, unlike Mollie, I venture outdoors). I think it has to do with the fact that I like (see also: am forced to) to wallow in the muck while Mollie is on the Californian coast this weekend.

* * *

Lastly, pictures from the FUNERALS New Year's Day show--their first show. I didn't have a camera, so these awesome shots are stolen from a relative of Casey's, Tom Huff.

(Casey's parents, Jed and Madeleine--aww!)

fuck

2010-02-26T12:26:00.001-05:00

i shouldn't have a blog because i write asinine things and then you get to read them. fuck.

when i get mail sent to my parent's house...

2010-02-25T00:37:00.012-05:00

Forever is it opened by them (which they KNOW is not allowed!), and forever do they forget to tell me... (and forever will I get it sent there because I have lost way too much mail getting it sent anywhere but... srsly).

I just found out, while stumbling around (oops), that I got a package in the mail today.

(Okay, so here, I digress to excessive rambling, because I'm allowed to, as it's my fucking blog:)

I got strangely excited--I thought it was whatever this thing was that Greg was having sent to my parent's house for me--it was a late birthday/x-mas present--and more than getting it, I wanted to know what it was. See, Greg sucked at getting me things, or even doing things that'd be meaningful or thoughtful (for anyone)--so I wanted to know what it was, I wanted to know if he 'knew' me any better (after two years). I don't mean any of that in a bad way. Whatever bitterness or enmity we/I have/had towards each other/him, this was/is a real curiosity of mine. (I wish I could frame that sentence and send it to Mollie.)

I think when we were breaking up, he told me he still wanted me to keep it--and I told him I'd throw it the fuck away (so, it ended on a sour note)--so, I'm guessing for his monetary sake, he cancelled it, (because he actually thought I would?), and it still hasn't come, and I didn't really expect it to. It's just... the end of something. I really wanted to know what it was and now I'll never know--YOU HATE TO SEE THAT.

Anyway (and back on topic), my mom, who I love, actually told me I got a package earlier in the day--but I didn't know what she was talking about, because, like her pronunciation of "cAWn-RrRraD?" (Conrad), she had told me something about something about "Rame-e-esy-bye-Rrr." And I didn't pay attention (I think she said something about Chicago, so I should've known--had I been paying attention).

I msgd Ramsey a bit ago because I don't have a credit card/bank account at the moment, and couldn't get this last issue of her zine off Microcosm without (the other stuff I had Jake buy for me, but didn't have enough cash at the time to get the zine too--boo). Ramsey makes a zine called "list," which I 'found out about' when Jimi and I went to RVA two or something summers ago (and when I met one of the most amazing girls of my life--but that's a different story). We slept on the couch/floor of their house (it says 'Welcome Punx!' on the porch above the couch, I think).

This preface was all to say--I got it in the mail, and it's called 'Moving On,' and, you know, it's about moving on. But before I finish this post: my sink came in!

it's been a month!

2010-02-23T22:20:00.003-05:00

take that!

i don't have time for this, really

2010-02-23T18:40:00.011-05:00

I helped set up at ROY this weekend with Cassie, and then went to Skylab for Nathan's birthday. Setting up: fuck projectors and sound equipment! Nathan's birthday: INSANE, of course. Vile Gash and Hair Police played on the 5th floor too. It was packed, etc. etc. etc.

The panel finally happened last night, and I read Jimi's paper off the computer because he only sent it to me fifteen minutes before it started. It was really entertaining and there was a decent turn out. Cassie introduced me at as 'The Harbinger of the Apocalypse,' but she said harbinger funny. I'm fairly certain I didn't choke on my own spit while speaking, but you never know--I was concentrating too hard to pay attention. I took a picture after I read Jimi's thing (too nervous but to just keep re-reading as quick as I could/half-listening to do anything before hand). That's Jimi's 'flyer' projected above Cassie--you can't make it out, really--or maybe you can. It was all videotaped, but I'm not sure I wanna see it! Haha.

I am so fucking swamped with homework, and I'm falling behind for sure.

on naps

2010-02-18T23:33:00.004-05:00

i took one. bad idea. why do i do that?

i'm glad jake's coming over.

i can't make it through the night alone.

--nightmares and what not.

well, i guess that'd be if i could actually fall asleep.

that's pretty much highly unlikely due to said nap...

buttered popcorn all night, here we come!

the panel's been rescheduled for monday!

(i know, again, but it will happen this time!)

that reminds me... jimi needs to send me his paper.

i'm going to forget this.

dude.

mang, why is the west coast so far away?

still waiting for this goddamn darkroom sink!

still waiting for you to get here.

ughhh!

wish it was warm enough for a nighttime bike ride.

sometimes...

2010-02-18T15:38:00.007-05:00

i really do just want a fucking frozen pizza or ramen noodles.

that said, i posted another recipe: zucchini cappellini w/ baby heirloom tomatoes.

i made some boxed pasta that's been sitting in the pantry for probably a year.

it tastes like cardboard, but i don't have the time or the fucking energy to make shit right now.

mental-drainnn.

oof, i don't know how much of this "pasta" i can stand.

WHAT ARE THESE LITTLE GREEN FLECKS, I WONDER...

also, update: weedeater just changed the dates of their tour.

way to go, fallon + ally. (lawl)

we have a question

2010-02-18T10:23:00.002-05:00

did the dude from weedeater actually blow his toe off with a shotgun?

Utopia Deferred

2010-02-17T14:15:00.007-05:00

Jake and Noa drink whiskey like it's a curse.

Does anyone know if this is a SF/Oakland thing?

Cos I know these two never frequented BrbnSt!

Also, I can't find my HP7.

Who wants to give me theirs?

All I've found in this search is LOTR and some Baudrillard.

The latter of which, for some reason, I think isn't my book.

If you read this, and this is yours, please claim.

It's been to Australia and back without you.

I'm sure it misses you.

Title of Book is Title of Post, KTHX.

...Though I guess it really is possible this is my book and I just don't remember....

listen

2010-02-17T13:15:00.003-05:00

i am only getting out of this bed when you come over.

waiting (wishing) for a phone call that will never come

2010-02-15T21:29:00.007-05:00

JDP put Punk Zine on his blog! Fuck yeah. It's now going on mine too, because JDP is me is you is JDP. The end.

Babe's here. Come to Skylab tmrw for the last Sword Heaven CMH show before Aaron leaves for India.

cancelled

2010-02-15T14:41:00.003-05:00

Can't make it through this day.

Get this snow outta me.

Hurtin' hard or hard hurtin'?

a valentine

2010-02-15T01:06:00.009-05:00

I'm always amiss. Dear Insomnia, Fuck You.

ellybee + dk3

2010-02-12T03:56:00.010-05:00

Dear Ellyn, sorry, I woke up, remembered that last entry, and deleted it. If you weren't a 'young professional,' and it was legal (okay, I don't really care if it's legal), I'd marry you. I fucking love you.

DARKROOM CONSTRUCTION PT 3 COMMENCE:

Tell me you're not excited, too?! I got to design a bunch of it. We're using salvaged (from my parents' old storage room) cupboards, three lights (one over the work station/enlarger area, one darkroom light, and one over the chemical/sink set-up. Sink's already ordered, and the black, chemical-resistant counter tops should be too! Sorry, but the idea of teaching my dad how to develop photos is the cutest thing in the world. I'm just sad I can't move it with me if (when) I move. Also: paint fumes suck! Heat rises? So do paint fumes--hence why we're still downstairs tonight.

Lastly, and most importantly, I've gotta make a post about a really close friend now. Kevin's dad died Thursday night, and it makes me the saddest ever. If you don't know him, (and then you probably don't know me either,) Kevin Cecil is this amazingly smart, funny, kind, all-those-things-everyone-wants-to-be/looks-for kind of guy. I never knew his dad, but it fucking breaks my heart that he has to go through this so early on in his life. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without any of my family--my mother, father or brother. The thought of the pain that would cause me is incredibly unbearable, and I can only imagine how Kevin is feeling. It's one of those times when you really wish you could do something for someone you love--but can't. And, Kevin, I'm sorry that I can't. If you know him, the viewing is tomorrow from 6-9pm at Rutherford Funeral Home in Powell. The address says 450 Olentangy Road--don't let that confuse you--it's right off Powell Road, turn right off Sawmill. Please come and show support and love for one of the best dudes ever.

0

2010-02-11T14:29:00.009-05:00

Shopping List: Baked Tofu, Baby Heirloom Tomatoes, + Scallions.

Tonight: Tryin' out some new recipes, homework, bad TV episodes + sleepovers again.

Saturday Night Potluck Dishes: Zucchini Cappellini & Vegan Wontons.

goodbye's too good a word

2010-02-10T20:49:00.005-05:00

Ceci n'est pas une pistolet.

Mais, utiliser la même devise.

I've done this before.

I can do it again.

staying up all night

2010-02-10T14:01:00.004-05:00

Boys snore and I can't sleep ever. I mean, I know I snore too, but I haven't been able to sleep, so, probably, the snoring of boys has not been keeping me up, but I'm going to use that as an excuse. Everything was cancelled yesterday, so I met a dude for drinks. The panel is rescheduled for Monday, but here's Jimi's flyer:

I like it.

yay!

2010-02-09T12:14:00.004-05:00

I got to stay home from school because I said I was sad! ...Which isn't really a big deal, seeing as it's my "hybrid" class (mostly online class). I guess I should be doing homework and being productive in the mean time, but I slept until noon (didn't go to bed until 7am). Cheered up a little, but then had nightmares. Totally am not certain if I'm going out tonight. Terrible, terrible snow :(

Update! Extensions on nearly everything! Friends with work cancelled! Maybe this snowday won't suck after all! Now to see if the panel is still on. Okay, now just please don't be too freezing. Also, can you cancel classes for tomorrow, too. Kthx, snow.

a night almost ruined

2010-02-09T00:06:00.014-05:00

Pt. 1:

Whatever, asshole.

Pt. 2:

I'm still at Jakob's, and he's looking for El Topo but can only find the Holy Mountain. Well, I brought over Suspiria and La Haine, but we've decided on Jodorowsky. I showed Jake the new darkroom I'm getting. I'm trying to get black, chemical-resistant Formica counter tops and a I'm getting a beautiful 6' Delta sink with a wash basin. I don't know about making my own darkroom, as I've never done it before, but Jakey and I were comparing it to Paige's old one. I remember we painted the counters we made poppy red (yeah, I loved that color, duh).

Darkroom Construction Pt. 2!

A door!

Okay, possibly you can't tell the difference. The difference is the drywall! I's got some walls up in this place!

Here's my lovely enlarger that hasn't been in-use for at least four years (haven't needed to!), so let's all hope it works--srsly.

I wanted to make dinner for us (i.e. mussels), but I made mussels for Ian's birthday Friday night before we went to Skylab (with hour-long stewed cherry tomatoes--omg, yum--baguette from Katzinger's and a delectable 'birthday cake' macaroon from Pistacia Vera with the freshest raspberries in the entire world--wtf?), and so we decided to wait until they get back from Cleveland. To be honest, I could probably eat mussels with good, toasty bread everyday (or probably I only say that because I can't/don't). Anyway, had my first Waffle House waffles in a LONG ASS time. Holy delicious! (I think they're mostly made out of butter.) I no longer drink coffee though, so I read to us.

do you want to see what i mean?

2010-02-08T21:08:00.003-05:00

OKAY, MEMORIZE... AND, GO!

So, I guess I'm hoping for a moderate ("C") grade if I can't get a good one. Cross yr fingiez, 4me plz. Tonight should be a good one--hanging out with Jakey before they go to Clevo to visit some friends or see some show (I can't be bothered to remember these details). Tomorrow night may also be a good one, if the god damn snow will let me live my life! Srsly, though, I heard 10-20 inches by the end of the week. Anti-swell. JDP goes back to Chicago on Wednesday, and so I need to see him tomorrow too! (All the sad faces.)

The panel discussion is at ROY G BIV at 7pm; description follows:

2012 and post-apocalyptic/post-revolutionary/post-utopian politics

with Cassandra Troyan, James Payne, Sarah Cowles, Andrew Culp, Tim Jensen and Ricky Crano as Moderator.

The panel discussion begins with the obsession of 2012 as a solipsistic day-dream, and its use as a scape-goat for not caring enough to protest our current dilapidated situation. The topic is a jump-off point for larger relevant questions: Is there a root psychological desire for the world to end? What is that root and how can it be ameliorated? How does itinerant desire for destruction impact real world political action?

Okay, now time to get ready for drawing, book-reading, Waffle House and late night hang-outs. We're in high school again. (That is if my ride ever gets here. --Wait, no that's exactly like high school.)

usan, jaffna, sri lanka

2010-02-08T13:51:00.008-05:00

My mom's old house when she was growing up. During the past decade it was occupied by the Sri Lankan Army. They just recently vacated it. It was used as a storage hold and living quarters for Sinhalese soldiers.

The next three are the house my mom's parents built for my mom and dad when they got married. They were never allowed to live there, as a Sri Lankan army general took up residence in it. We weren't allowed to visit it when we went to Sri Lanka in 2002 or 2005.

need immediately, plz

2010-02-05T11:49:00.005-05:00

P.S. Snow, dude, I hatechu. Quit ruining all of the plans ever.

it never dies a natural death

2010-02-05T09:47:00.006-05:00

It's just a waste of time.

It's such a waste of time.

darkroom construction pt 1

2010-02-03T23:01:00.013-05:00

Woke up to the beginning of the demolition of the storage space in my parent's house that is soon to be my darkroom. This used to be floor to ceiling cupboards--workbenches and whatnot.

Then, I had breakfast and went to class--grudgingly. (Okay, I love croissants, and I HAD to take a picture of how perfect and delicious this one was. I could probably gush about it forever. For your sake--I won't. LA BOULANGERIE PLZ?)

So, I get back from class, and the place is completely gutted. And they've added the beginning of a ceiling. They're going to paint these walls black, and I'm getting a 6ft darkroom sink. Oh, mang.

It's bigger than it looks, and definitely bigger than half the darkrooms I've worked in. I didn't get a photograph of my enlarger because it's in hiding in the back guest room--but it's one that my ex, Daniel, gave me ages ago--along with shitloads of other equipment/chemicals/etc. Some of it's probably expired, which is the shit we used to use all the time--the weird reactions with aged chemicals, the unexpected results. Obviously not timeless, enduring prints, but wonderful to fuck around with. Anyway I've got to get back to studying. And sleeping (yeah, right).

i have a very important choice to make

2010-02-03T16:33:00.005-05:00

girls w/ dum dum girls

deerhunter

I'd totally go to both, but I'm not sure how feasible that is with my limited fundage. Plus, I've seen Deerhunter before ...but, then again, xx is the night before Girls... so which to choose? Something to ponder on the half-hour car-ride home, I suppose. I want to see The Entrance Band tonight, but I don't feel up to it--still getting over this cold.

what this is really trying to say is...

2010-02-03T14:33:00.006-05:00

I could be dead right now. Along with half the people I know (at least). Damn, grrrl.

R.I.P. Jay Reatard. Let me know how it is hangin' out with Zinn.

'oh be a fine girl, kiss me'

2010-02-02T09:12:00.005-05:00

...now you know the mnemonic device to remember the 'full' spectral type sequence (full until they later added l and t to the end of it). I laughed out loud in class when I read that. These are B stars (some of the hottest), in the Pleiades star cluster. Surreal.

Also, I made my first recipe post. I've got a lot of studying for Astronomy to do this week, so probably not another one until this weekend. We'll see. Anyway, I'll definitely update on the status of darkroom construction. I asked my dad, "What happens to my darkroom if I go to Portland in less than a year?" And he said, "It'll still be here." This is good news.

People are already (duh) planning on SXSW attendance, and I'm thinkin' in on it too. Conrad wants to go for his birthday, and it'd be sweet to go--but also the Chicago Zine Fest is happening, and Sara is doing a workshop? of sorts (something). Plans should be made sooner than later, but it's hard to know what exactly to do. Plus, Chicago is cheap (megabus), versus flying to Austin. How to manage that? Hmm. Applying tonight and planning on visiting Portland in June. Excitinggg news.

finally

2010-02-01T15:37:00.002-05:00

Monotonix vocalist FINALLY breaks a part of his own body rather than everything else around.

No one is surprised.

over-edited, under-finished: jimi + luxey

2010-01-31T23:12:00.010-05:00

JDP's intro, cos I'm too lazy right now--

"Aarthi and I were once going to make a zine about the South Campus Gateway which, at the time, had just opened. This is a version of that text unedited for non-clarity and replete with a sort of half-baked political rumormongering. But our naysaying has been thoroughly vindicated through the years. Today, the Gateway is a mess that is currently relying on "The Arts" to bail it out and keep it populated. The movie theater has changed hands annually, people have been killed their annually, and businesses seemingly close monthly. Their current roster of business can be summed up as tanning salons and bars for the people who love them. Some of the storefronts - smartly - never even opened. And, yes, the houses directly across from it on 9th still lay vacant. Without further ado:"

And now Jimi presents to you what we never finished:

IN WITH THE NEW OUT WITH THE NEW:

FIVE THEMES OF THE SOUTH CAMPUS GATEWAY

(This was going to be in the zine too. No jokes.)

Dumb Note: I actually have an even more peculiarly edited version of this backed up somewhere, and still have the accompanying photographs, but who knows if that will ever see the light of day--and who cares. I suggest the link if you're interested.

new things

2010-01-31T14:22:00.004-05:00

New desk (yellow) + chair!

ducky distraction

2010-01-31T13:23:00.009-05:00

Annie receives her duck-piggy bank edible arrangement from Mollie & Casey. Thank you, Conrad's wonderful Blackberry camera skills. This bitch is a favorite of mine.

P.S. SAVE ME.

talkin' hot

2010-01-30T19:27:00.002-05:00

I LOVE HARISSA.

so let me not think to not think of you

2010-01-30T17:02:00.007-05:00

In a vain attempt to keep my mind off what may or may not be heartbreak, I have decided to do a couple of awesome things.

1. This blog, that's one, and why I'm explaining. (A vain attempt--that is funny, come on.)

2. Buying a typewriter to finalize my recipe zine (no way am I having it printed off a printer--but, fuck, is this going to be time-consuming, and also, fuck, I will have to do the whole thing sober, or run the risk of monumental mistakes with every click). Finishing it, printing (that's with a silk-screen, don't get confused) a cover, and having it done in time to be in the Chicago zine fest is the goal (2nd week o'March). Which, depending on how well I feel I'm doing in school, I may attend (to see Jaebae and Cedric, mostly--thanks Megabus).

3. Getting hit on. Okay, that's in no way my doing, but it makes me feel good. What is off about this 'step,' if you will, is that making out with someone right after you tell them that you just broke up with someone is so weird--I mean, they should feel weird. And used. Wouldn't you? Guess not. Okay, well, I'm all about it. Straight crushin'.

4. Getting out of this city. I had an hour and a half long interview with Julie Fox, an admissions director at the International Culinary School at the Art Institute in Portland. I think this may be the 'path that I'm choosing' (school wise), as completing a degree at ICS will give me a Bachelor of Science in Culinary Management with a minor in Sustainability. That sounds awesome--and I'm fucking pumped. I'm still looking into everything, but for right now, it's where my heart is set: Anne, Conrad, cooking, Resa, Jakob, Noa (really, do you want a list of friends I have in Portland, because that'd probably just upset you--yes, the enigmatic "you") and a coast I've never been too familiar with. To put it bluntly: my friends are growing up--I guess I should too.

5. Doing my homework. Often, with help. (Thanks, Arvind.)

high point low point

2010-01-30T11:21:00.002-05:00

Haha, Cyprien hit on Alix.

it's friday night tonight

2010-01-29T14:55:00.013-05:00

First of all: fuck yeah. Time-travel back to high school and you have the line-up we'll all be experiencing tonight at Carabar: Go Evol Shiki, Mortimur and Audion. Before I was legal, I was sneaking into shows (sorry to all the bartending friends I betrayed in my youth) or heading to Bernie's to see these bands. The funny thing is, it doesn't bring back memories of the shows as much as it brings back the entirety of my life back then--memories of house shows, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, best friends, my now-busted charcoal-gray 1987 Mercedes SEL (it had a reclining back seat, dudes), homework, suspensions, curfews I never followed and teen angst are all flooding into my already too-cluttered brain. Needless to say, I am distracted as fuck and being entirely unproductive today.

Anyway, that's how I'm closing the night out--so let's start at the beginning--first Alix and I are going to grab some dinner. I feel like nothing more needs to be said about that, unless of course, you want to join us--you can txt me. So, I've got to write a paper on a sculpture or a painting for my prerequisite history class--enter the Wexner Center opening of works by Cyprien (too bad it can't be on a film).

I'm excited to see the works in person--and am going to try extremely hard not to think about, discuss, engage or enjoy them. Why? My professor is absolutely forbidding us to do more than describe the actual piece (1 page, double spaced) and then reflect on them (1 page, double spaced). The problem with this reflection is that we're basically prohibited to 'I felt this was nice' or 'I don't like this painting and thought it was stupid.' I'm not kidding. He refuses to let us analyze, contextualize, or intellectually interpret the work. When we got our last papers back on Wednesday, he even called out people who "looked into it" too much. The hilarity of this would appeal to me, except, needless to say, with so much restriction on critical thought, I find writing these papers unbearably difficult.

Next: Laura and I are going to make the Cornish Hen + Egg Noodle soup that we started yesterday (she forgot to thaw them before hand, so all we got done was cooking the halved birds and stripping the meat off the carcass--the latter of which Ian did). She bought a huge stock pot from the thrift store for $18.99, which I'm envious of, but definitely don't need. Ultimately, we failed in our mission (see above), so we split vegan chili-cheese fries at Carabar.

And then, of course: the show! Being, what, 17?--I didn't know any of the members of these bands personally until much later (see also: now). That was the time of No Tagbacks (don't worry, I didn't like that music then either), Roar is the Sound (two boyfriends in that one--go ahead, you can laugh), Young Zeus, etc. These are bands that I loved, and in a 'wow, you're older and you're so cool,' sort of way (e.g. The Cinema Eye--sorry Mookz)--so some serious nostalgia is creeping up on me. I have to admit, I wrote this post for the sole reason that my astronomy homework was making my brain melt. Now back to it? I mean, come on, I've got all weekend to do it. And it's almost time to head downtown...

P.S. Scratch that non-productivity that I was talking about--I just cleaned an entire room of all the junk I had scattered across it. If you know me at all, you know that this is a level of high-productivity for me. I want to be congratulated. Seriously.

Side note: If you don't find yourself at Carabar tonight, see if you can support Heather's V-day benefit at Surly Girl (proceeds go to SARNCO), then go see my brother play at Dragonfly Neo V with his new band or Zobe at the Treehouse. I'm not driving, or you know I'd be everywhere all at once. Gone are the days when I party-hopped. Now I just party-slide. What? Yeah, me neither.

just one last thing before i succumb to my astronomy gruel

2010-01-29T11:44:00.001-05:00

My brother and I sit on our computer for hours (due to obligations such as an 8-hour work day and tedious homework, respectively) and often exchange links. Here's a good one. Just so you know, you know, it runs in my fucking lineage (literary lineage, that is). Also, don't be confused--I'm not comparing myself to the "literary greats,"--JUST SAYIN' IS ALL.

Also, as it stands currently, I'm still alive. Whether addiction or astronomy finally do me in--only time will tell.

P.S. Since I currently don't have a desk (since I currently don't have a house), I am forever losing things within the cavernous folds of my blankets (so, also, since I am always cold). I once again procrastinate to show you:

wind waker (perth, wa, au)/boring reminicenses of warmer weather and cooler places

2010-01-29T10:11:00.002-05:00

wind waker

I can't stop thinking about going back to Australia, Melbourne in particular, and staying in the city, possibly in Fitzroy (neighborhood equivalent to Olde Town East or Washington Beach, for us--though I'm pretty sure Washington Beach isn't widely recognized--and yes, I realize I've just digressed), being the hipster-seeking, art-indulgent, indie-culture hoarder that I am. Did you know there is a street that runs straight through Melbourne-proper (the 'city center,' if you will) named Batman Avenue? Now you do. (Actually, once it truly hits Melb, it turns into Exhibition Street--far less appealing.)

Here's an easy as fuck tip on remembering some of the the most important streets in Melbourne (proper)--from the Yarra River harbor (Docklands) heading inland (southwest to northeast)--King St, William St, Queen St, Elizabeth St. Get it? King William, Queen Elizabeth. Essential in finding my way after getting lost, which I did, and often. Also important is to stay within the square (rectangle), or you're venturing into tourist-befuddling territory (i.e. the coolest parts of Melbourne tucked away between warehouses, Clintonville-esque neighborhoods and various other inconspicuous architecture). These limits of the Melbourne city rectangle are Spencer St (southwest) and Spring St (northeast), Flinders St (southeast) and LaTrobe St (northwest).

Also, saw The Reptiles and Joe Lally play while I was there, a number of local bands, performances and artshows and hung around at The Gulag (think BLD or Skylab prior to 2007) including the linked show/opening/performance, among other things. I miss it all. I conveniently forgot Conrad and my copy of Smell My Skin (and my insanely beloved MTG Elf Deck). Which reminds me--just as conveniently (not convenient in either case, AT ALL), I forgot a couple CDs I need at Greg's house. Damnit. And I was really hoping on not stopping back there. Cut my losses?

Anyway, I'm avoiding astronomy homework involving Chapters 49-58, parallax, parsecs, luminosity vs. brightness and temperature, Wien's Law, the Stefan-Boltzmann Constant, and blowing my brains out. Await update on my life or death status.

new xx video

2010-01-28T15:13:00.001-05:00

I absolutely cannot wait to see these guys at the Wex in April with some of my best friends (ever & forever)--Mollie's Christmas present to Casey, Scotty, herself, and me.

And, totally unrelated, but really interesting for those of us who may or may not give a damn: an article on Gandhi.

Here is the Orwell essay he mentions: Reflections on Gandhi.

"The essence of being human is... that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one's love upon other human individuals." -George Orwell

on what has now past

2010-01-28T14:48:00.000-05:00

Today it’s that thick, sick feeling that crowds her chest. It’s what makes it hard to eat, hard to sleep. It's weird to think that someone she knew, someone she loved--and for so long--she'll never see again. It's hard to write down, to admit; it's hard to say the words and make it real, final.

It's the goodbye you don't deserve that she'll never get to say.