Alright, I'll let you in on a big secret: the future is not awesome. And let me tell you why: because frozen pizza is still disgusting. In fact, it's getting worse. And pizza is a good indicator of what to look forward to--if they're making it possible to make a SLICE of pizza, but it still tastes like cardboard, what can we expect for our fucking jet-packs (overused future reference--maybe I should have said moving sidewalks and flying cars). Seriously, who doesn't like pizza (I don't want to meet you, ever), and how the fuck is it not only getting better? Tell me anything I just said doesn't follow any logical thought process (I won't listen).
I'm just saying, if we can't even make automatic pizza taste great, all hope's lost. World peace? Forget it. So go hang yourself and get it over with, because microwave-a-slice-of-pizza is gross and the world is over.
Wait, what did I really expect from a freezer? NOT TO WASTE FIVE DOLLARS. I know--that's a lot to ask in these hard economic times. I wasn't even looking for nourishing, make-you-feel-good food (there is something green on top, but who knows what color it was before they dyed it green), just a fucking good slice of pizza that takes less than a commercial break to make. Why is that so hard, technology? Peace out, future.
P.S. Yeah, I still ate it. ...Also, I feel sick now.
3 comments:
was it so tough it required that fork and steak knife, or is that just the way you eat pizza?
the former, OBVIOUSLY. you have to follow a linear thought process: i'm punk, so i'm a slob, but i will use a fork to eat my pizza if it's really necessary because pizza is the pinnacle of punk. see how that works?
also, that wasn't exactly so much linear as circular.
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