Saturday, November 20, 2010


Pressing Question Answered

Border Guard: Will you be bringing money into Canada? Do you have enough for your trip? What are your occupations?

Pat: I run my own printing business.
Austin: I'm a teacher.
Ryan: I'm a librarian.
Ryan S.: I work at a school.
Shane: (whatever Shane does).
Me (James): I'm a writer.

Border Guard: Hahaha, well, we all know you don't have any money!

i went to bed at 3 and woke up at 7

Trying to decide which SE restaurant I need to go to after watching Harry Potter for the second time to get a delicious tofu scramble. I think Hungry Tiger Too is gonna win out for the following three reasons: I've been there before, I know it's delicious, & it's near Food Fight, where I need to stop afterwards.

Other thoughts that just ran through my head:
"Is Conrad out of bed yet, or should I wait five more minutes?"
"I'm tired."
"What font does West Elm use?"
"Where is my rice cooker? I want to steam snow peas immediately."
"Oh, there, he's up, now I can go get him."

explanation: the devolution of language

i've decided to see how many parenthetical expressions i can fit into a run-on sentence while still getting my point across. TAKE THAT, SILAS MARNER (wait, i mean george eliot {oh wait, that wasn't your name either (cos you done be a woman {fucking feminist})} ...that was just practice).

me at 14: "run on sentences are just regular sentences where the idiot forgot parentheses."
me now: "why are there so many parentheses? (oh, it's a run on.)"

i don't like that you make me feel okay for paying double

i bought a frozen microwavable bean and cheese burrito from whole foods* because i knew i would definitely be lazy enough to want to eat in the near future without leaving my house.

apparently, whole foods microwavable burritos are not meant for the lazy. THEY REQUIRE THAWING THE DAY BEFORE. so, i put it on the free pile table in my basement (don't worry, that shit gets taken in like 5 minutes--this is portland). never will i foresee beforehand that i might want a midnight snack because i stumbled in at 5am (okay 5am snack). its just not going to happen (the foreseeing, not the stumbling).

on a similar note: the manager at zupan's (specialty food store) followed me around the last time i was in there. it's about two blocks down the street (not columbus blocks), and it was raining, so my hood was up. DUDE, i can tell you're following me. also, DUDE, sorry--i'm not going to steal anything. ...AND IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.


update: someone took the burrito. see? told you.